the mirrored window: July 2004

Someone wants me! Someone roaming the streets wants me!... Now will you turn the corner? (July 30/31)

July 30
Why is it that sleep is so hard 2 come by these days? I mean geez I woke up at 9:30 this mornin and I'm still up and runnin. I mowed, yippee. Got the same damn blister on my thumb, too. It's so freakin hotttt and it's raining, too. man ain't life grand? haha I'm complaining a lot for no reason, ay? I'm just so freakin bored... and alone! geez it's pretty sad that I can't think of 1 person that I could pick up the phone and talk to right now. (Beth's w/ Adam -e-... lol) Well I could think of 1 but I'm too chicken to call him. that's pathetic, I know. Just don't think he wants a call from me, I'm prolly the furthest thing from his mind and I'm gettin used to it. I mean hell I don't blame him for not caring anymore, just sometimes it pisses me off but I'm not exactly sure who I'm pissed at?
July 31
Why does everything turn into something bout him? I think it's a nitetime thang cuz it's mornin now and well, okay...changing subjects... Deanie's friends from college (Dan & Phil) are comin over for a few days 2day. I'm goin to see if Beth wants to come over... this should be interesting. haha I love it when my house is full of ppl... that's why I love Christmas! Well "the holidays", ya know.
Geez I cannot wait to move into my new room... but I feel kinda bad cuz it's Leslie's old room and she has no where 2 put her stuff in her "cabin" she lives in w/ James. So we were gonna put her stuff into my room, but now Dad's making it into a studio (hmmm... does he not already have one above the garage?) & now when we come back, like when we're older, Leslie won't have a room. Isn't that awful? I feel so freakin bad & she already said that she hasn't "had a home" in a while & now I'm sure that's goin to make it a lil worse, ay? Plus there's not a place for her stuff in our house. There's no room for her in her own home. Well, I could leave some of her stuff in her closest, but woohoo she has a closet! (Is she gonna sleep there years from now?) But then there'd be no room for my stuff. Geez this is pretty cracked up, ay?
This dog, that isn't even ours, has been barking at a garbage bag for the last 15 minutes, seriously. I feel like shooting it... but that would be cruel. Bad thoughts! haha

lyrics!

laurel's adventures

I wrote something almost everyday I was gone, so here it is!

July 1st
the city of Shaginaw, Michigan

I don’t feel like writing so here’s some memos & song lyrics I jotted down 2day:

*Shrimp, Shrimp, Shrimp… & Mo’ Shrimp! (truck stop sign)
*when I go on a road trip we’re going to Yellow Springs, Oh. (where I saw a woman in a business suit carrying her shoes down the road… it‘s like a hippy town, fun stuff really) and Point Pleasant WVa. (moth man place). and I got the idea to go 2 strangers houses and ask to jump on their trampolines.
*“I never liked the rain until I walked through it with you.” Clint Black (Like the Rain)
*“Cuz I’m broken, when I’m lonesome, and I don’t feel right when you’re gone away.” Seether and Amy Lee (Broken)
*Sheryl Crow lyrics:
**“All I wanna do is have a lil fun before I die” (All I Wanna Do)
**“Jump in, let’s go. Lay back, enjoy the show. Everybody gets high, everybody gets low- these are the days when anything goes. Everyday is a winding road (I get a lil bit closer). Everyday is a faded sign (I get a lil bit closer). Everyday is a winding road (I get a lil bit closer, to feeling fine.)” (Everyday is a Winding Road)
**“This has been the best part of my losing streak.” (Leaving Las Vegas)
*I kicked a stone from Applebee’s to our hotel.
*I saw a wrecked Volkswagen Beetle with blood all over the inside.
*I watched the Spanish channel with mom ‘til Dean got mad and changed it.
*Had to take advil with bourbon water, mom’s orders. lol (my dad was drinkin bourbon and he left it sitting and fell asleep and mom thought it was water and told me to drink it to take advil, Nasty kids, very nasty.)
July 2nd
in Little Current

On the way back to the hotel from the restaurant me and Dad had an interesting topic of convo. I’ll set the scene for you: this guy was riding his bike past us and doing tricks and stuff and Dad recommended that I walk up to the bike guy and give him a 4-leaf clover… I was like right….. But that got him talking bout how I should live life to make memories- like just have meaningful moments with ppl (strangers, friends, anyone I guess). He said that making memories could be like an art form… I mean what if someone spent their life creating memories in ppl’s minds. Crazy idea, but I like it. Sharing moments with ppl is something like everyone likes at some time in their life- why not all the time? Ya know, no matter how much I say I hate him sometimes I just love him too much.

July 3rd
my little island

I saw the hottest guy EVER today at the dock. I’m guessing he was a bit old for me by the cases and cases of beer he loaded into his boat, but hey- a girl can dream! haha
Well I’m now posted on Iroquois island. Ya know, no matter how many times I’ve come here it doesn’t cease to amaze me… it’s just so beautiful. Dean and Dad have been fishing for at least 4 hours now and there’s not sign of them yet! They better get back before the sun goes down or they’ll be devoured by mosquitoes… they’re So thick here. omg here comes a boat pulling a boat very similar to our’s… haha I’m gonna laugh my ass off if that’s them! I think it is! hahaha… okay damnit, it’s not! grrrrr! haha Well I guess it's one of our neighbors for the week... hmmm... they don't look very excitin. Ya know I painted mom’s toenails 2day for the first time in her EnTiRe LiFe! Isn’t that crazy? Okay mom walked down to the dock cuz she thought it was Dean n Dad, well she came back up here and was like “Well I felt foolish.” and I was like, “why didn’t you turn around when you figured out it wasn’t them?” and she said “well I rushed down there and saw strangers, I wasn’t gonna rush back, they’d think I was weird.” I asked her what she said to them and she told them that the way they were towing something (which turned out to be a rubber inflatable thing) she thought it was her husband. At least I got some humor out of the situation. I have to pee now.

July 4th
some kind of fourth of July

Well today started out alright. I had weird dreams last night... ya know how ya wake up and go back to sleep
and you have continuation of the first dream? well that’s what was happenin except now I don’t understand how they connect, or which one was first~ they all followed the same theme. About Mike of course. bunches of people were in them at different times, except Beth (who was there the whole time). like: my ‘rents, Brandon, Dean, I don’t remember other people. They involved weird things like Beth writing on this big white wall (in green markers) things like “Laurel’s gay” and I got really pissed in my dream. But I remember me and Mike havin a long convo and feeling really good when I woke up but I don’t remember what we said. AnYwAyS... we all went fishing this morning and it started POURING down rain and lightnin and shit and so we anchored on this weird island and kinda stood there. Well, I was okay for the first half hour we were there... but in another hour my clothes (including my piece of shit rain jacket) were soaked and my whole body was wet. I was in a bitchy mood and didn’t hesitate to tell my dad just what a piece of shit that rain jacket was. When it let up, they wanted to fish more and I was like “Do you want me to pour buckets of water down your rain suit and see if you’re in the mood for fishing then?” We went back to the cabin. That ruined the rain for me forever... well at least for the rest of the week. I need a back massage. Last night before I went to sleep I was reading and the way the light is hanging in my room, I couldn’t see very well so Dean swung the beds around in my room~ while I was still in mine. It was FUN. haha Well I’m peeing “healthier” now~ don’t ask. Oh- Beth I heard that “Although we’ve come to the end of the road..” song today! haha 94.1 Moose FM! Yeah buddy! I also heard that “Hands” song by Jewel~ I forgot how much I loved it. It’s grrreat! Yea oh well time to dine.

July 5th
happy b-day Autumn!

The temperature today has been weird. This morning it was cold and rainy and by the afternoon it was warm enough for me 2 lay on the dock in my swimsuit. Not quite warm enough to actually swim, tho. haha Dad caught a bass today~ big enough to eat. I caught about a five inch one off the dock, haha. of course I let it go. I finally got to blow out my b-day candles today! Even though my b-day was like, what, 17 days ago? We didn’t have any candles at home when we celebrated my b-day... so when we were shopping for groceries to bring up here I saw candles and I thought if I got some and put them in the brownies mom planned on making that’d make up for it. I heard tons of good songs today. The song “I Will Remember You” by Sarah McLachlan is seriously exactly the way I feel a lot now. I forgot about that song. And I heard this new Nelly Furtado song- “Try” Its good and Norah Jones’ “Sunrise” I love her voice. Dean tried singin “My Heart Will Go On” It was great. haha Well its midnight and I’m tired- Adios!

July 6th

It’s rained off and on all day today, not too bad until like right now, though. It’s after 11 at night. We all went fishing from like 10-6 or something. Nobody really caught anything except Dean. He was really reelin ‘em in at one point. He caught 3 Pikes. None of them were really big enough to keep, but he kept the first one, it was real real close to 2 feet. Dad keeps saying I’m asleep and I’ve left the light on and I’m like geez how can I be asleep if I’m writing? And he’s like- you can write w/ your eyes closed? And I’m like you can’t even see me from where you are! GEEZ! We’re all goin to freeze to death in this cabin. I never remember it bein cold but I have 3 blankets on and I could sand another one. Oh, I just remembered something dad was talkin bout today. His friend, Mike Straw, used to talk about a guy who got a bumble bee sting on his dick and it “swelled up as big as a baseball bat.” haha I kinda doubt that’d ever happen, but talk about a 3rd leg. lol. Crazy, ay? You know some people claim lil’ kids are scared of everything but I think they’re too curious and well, dumb to know when to be scared. I know I was. I kinda miss that. I was never scared of spiders when I was younger... or bees, or much else, really. I wouldn’t want to be naive and innocent forever, but it definitely has its moments. Definitely...

July 7th

Well I like just woke up and I had the coolest dream in the world last night. The beginning is kinda vague and weird... like I was in a gym (like in a school) and I don’t remember what I was doin but after while I noticed these white lions (like @ the Cinci Zoo) a lil’ ways down from me and they were like walking around and not paying any attention to me, but I was convinced they were gonna attack me. So there were these rooms and I locked myself into one and jus waited. Well my mom came to get me and got me out of the room and the lions still didn’t pay any attention to us so we just left. When we got outside somehow Beth was with us and her dad had come to get her. We were in our student parking lot but it was dark outside and there were these two girls in Shannon’s truck with him. They reminded me of those lesbian porn stars in Anger Management. And he had like met them at some support group but I don’t remember what it was called. I think it had something to do with killing ppl? Well, Beth went home and I was on this long road and everything was like hazy and gray and Evan was on it, too, but he was up a ways from me but we were facing each other and walking. I had my cell phone and he was like sending me all this these text messages but I have no clue what they said. Well then I think I was in Canada and my rents were with me and I kept using my cell phone in front of them and they didn’t care and they were gonna get me a better one. Well then there was an outside basketball court and Beth was supposed to be having a gym class there. I talked to her some but her instructor yelled @ me and I hadda leave. Then was the coolest part~ it was the last day of school and it was our school, but it was a million times better! I didn’t have to go to my classes I reckon cause I was just wanderin around the whole time and I went to the cafeteria, I think but it was like the middle school one with a stage and all and there were these girls up there and one of ‘em looked kinda Hawaiian. She was singin that song “Take It Easy”... ya know? And other girls were playin instruments and the girl would sing the song but make up verses in the middle about stuff goin on in the room and there were these other girls doin a tap routine... Leslie Preston, etc. lol. It was weird. Then I left and like went up the slope. Ya know, the hallway outside the gym, and there were people everywhere doin the tap thing and Mrs. Casey came up to them and was like what are you doing? And they told her and she was like I know, I’ve been doing it all day, too. It was the coolest school ever and it was a lot bigger and there were tons of people. I don’t know. Then it was supposed to be 4th block or something and I was gonna go to class to see what we were doin. So I went upstairs and a lot of people were leavin class so I went with them and I found Beth, Jen and Amanda and a buncha other people and we were goin to some assembly, I guess? And Amanda was talkin about how Kensi didn’t come to school because she would have made fun of her. Well we got to this place that looked like a big version of Jones’ gym/cafeteria (Mason Co.) and there were groups of people doing whatever they wanted so me and Beth went walkin around and I remember Clink bein there? And then I saw Kensi talkin to my mom or somethin. But there were people sellin stuff and we talked to this girl that looked like that girl on Degrassi (I can’t remember her name... Liberty I think?). Then Kensi was talkin to us and this guy came up to us and he was supposed to be famous like a guy from New Kids on the Block. Somehow we got in this really involved convo about love. There was this package for sell that was like a love kit I reckon and the guy threw it and it opened and somethin in it said VooDoo. So, the guy picked it up and Kensi gave him gum out of it. I don’t remember what they said but I got the fact that her and Rus had broken up and she was a totally different person. The guy left and I asked Kensi why her and Rus broke up and she said he was arrogant and she grew up. Earlier in the dream, I was sitting in the real cafeteria with a buncha guys and it looked like Straub’s cafeteria. (Mason Co.) and we were watchin TV. I think Abby was with me and we were talkin about Chad’s legs? And then me and her went to the auditorium and it was like rehearsal for our show last year and Tracy, Anna Kristin, and Kitty were onstage. Mrs. Franklin was showing us the arms for something. Then I left and I saw Mike and I think I kept walking and I saw John Turner and we talked then I kept walking and Mikey Harris slapped my ass or something and him and Scott were tryin to talk to me but I saw Josh Ecklar and went to talk to him and me and Nina ended up goin to his house? But then we had to go to Nina’s and her aunt was there and she was really mean so we went back to school. Anyways I know that was the longest pointless thing I’ve ever written but it was just so cool cuz our school was bigger and nobody cared what anybody else thought and we were pretty much nice to each other and it was just fun.

July 8th
Whoa Nelly! haha

Geez o pete o geez~ Dean wont stop rocking back and forth and staring at me and singing “Ring around the Rosie” all scary-like. Sometimes I don’t want to claim him. Ole’ Deano. haha! well I just had the biggest adventure of the week! We went to Nelly, this lake that’s on an indian reservation. It’s my favorite place in Canada. I have pictures from there. Dean wanted to climb over on top of all these rock hill things to take a picture and he wanted me to come so we set off. I have to say it was a bit rocky and kind of dangerous but of course fun! I have 2 more bug bites, tho. Oh and I lost my shoes like 3 times cuz I was wearing flip-flops! haha! I just feel so alive there. I could just stand and stare up at the sky and feel like I never had to move. It makes me feel like I can do whatever I want! haha I wrote my name in rocks to see if it would be there next year, prolly not, but? omg this is the funniest radio program I’ve heard in a long time. They’re discussing living in a city or a suburb. What the hell is the difference? This woman said Escalade like it was Escalad. (I cant stand people who talk with flat a’s) She said if the roof breaks she’d have to move cause she doesn’t know how to fix anything! wtf?! lol oh well. I’ve been reading the “Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood!” Its long but I love it. I want to live in it. It’s complicated but I need that. I need some things to go wrong so I can appreciate it when everything is right. I want to live in the deep south and have close friends and get arrested , get talked about and not give a damn, have kids, cause controversy... I want to live! I mean like really live! I just haven’t found a job that fits in w/ that. So I don’t think I will. Work, I mean. I’ll be an old fashioned mom. Have a 2-story house w/ a finished basement and a huge lawn w/ big trees and a volleyball net and a lake w/ a dock and maybe a canoe! lol! A big porch and parties every month. I don’t mean trashy parties, I mean dress up and dance parties (open bar, of course. If someone is gonna write a book about me I would give them a hell of a lot to write about. My life might look nice and simple and plain but I’m gonna surprise the hell out of people. Shake things up a bit, ay? Beth let’s find hubbies after college and go live in some southern state and upset some little town. lol I’ve got big plans for such a short period of time. Maybe I could just stay here to live and do just as well. Kentucky is fab. and I’m serious... Well our feast of green beans and tuna sandwiches is FiNiShEd so I'll quit my rambling...for now! Smooches!

Back from dinner...Deanie tried to say his stomach gets big when he eats. That was good for a laugh. lol Back to what I was talkin bout earlier (kinda)- I want family dinners, a dishwasher, someone to clean the house (maybe)...I’ll do laundry and cook and raise kids and make fun, that should be enough, lol! I think I can do it! Oh and one of the most important things is that my husband is gonna think I'm sexy! No matter how old I am. Things just get better with time, honey. I cant stand men who talk down to their wives, they should be shot. My man will appreciate what he has. ‘Cause I’ll be worth it. But I won’t put up with shit. Laurel Mallory will not put up with a man’s shit!... I take pride in being difficult... no matter how bad it hurts me sometimes.

July 10th
is there a point to Diet Sierra Mist???

This is my 2nd day on the train 2 NYC. It's nice I guess. It took me a lil while to get used 2 the constant rocking, but I'm good now. I'm in the state of New York, but I still have a few hours before I get to NYC. These are really comfortable seat, the food is tolerable, and I've seen four hot guys! yippee! haha The first one was at the train station yesterday- he worked there- and he reminded me of someone but I couldn’t figure out who. The 2nd one was on the train yesterday, playing cards with some lil kids. I heard him say his hat was from Australia and I think that's why I found him attractive... the dangerous type! haha The third one worked at the train station in Toronto- blonde hair. He was nice... nice smile. The fourth one was kinds of unexpected... I said “Excuse me” and he said “Certainly” how adorable is that?! haha There was also this guy that smiled at me in the eatin car but he was kinda scary, actually... oh well I’m sure they’re all a tad old for me. The guy selling food is rude and I really, really don’t like him. Screw him and the horse he rode in on! haha (DS) but he gave me a free water, so? lol AnYwAyS- Sheryl Crow is my fuckin idol, kids. I’ve even heard she’s dating Lance Armstrong... sexy- but I thought he had a wife? Every single song she ever sang is absolutely fab. (That reminds me, you can get the cutest lil bottle of Absolut on the train. haha) I’ll put links to my fav Sheryl songs on this entry @ home. I wish I’d get to NYC so I can shake my booty, and truck it back home (w/ a National champs trophy, hopefully...) I miss y’all! Beth- I’m wearin my indian choker today! Yesterday I met this woman named Natalie raveling to Toronto w/ her hubby and baby girl (who was adorable!). She was really nice and reminded me of one of my best friends from elementary school- Elizabeth Smith. (Everybody gets high, everybody gets low- these are the days when anything goes...) < sorry, bad singin habit. lol Earlier I totally latched those lil trays that come down our of the backs of the seats with my foot~ pure talent! PURE! haha omg I forgot about that... where the hell did I get that, anyway? I think it’s funny that I’m carrying that black cowboy hat everywhere (costume!)... ppl are prolly like right... ah shit I don't give a giraffe's butt, haha. This big woman had her feet on my suitcase earlier, for like hours... thank god I have no fragiles in there. Geez I’m mean, nevermind. I wish I had a laptop~ I’d write my favs emails everyday. I sent some postcards (Beth I know ya gotta love the “Royal Canadian Mounted Police” one haha). woah this is long... and DS is waiting for me. Xs & Os

oh and I figured out the answer to the not-really-a-question of ‘chase what makes your heart flutter, even if it hurts’ or whatever ya know... I say ‘if it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad’. (a lil obvious help from Sheryl on that one!) Like any of that really matters anymore anyway. It’s not like I think bout that 24/7... only about a minute a day now (hmm...). That’s enough time for it to kill me, tho. I thought I was over alla that... but it hit me upside the head out of left field again. (lol) Sorry for being so fuckin stupid. (That was an apology to myself). I’m too strong to let stupid shit get to me. I have to keep reminding myself of that.

*Make Sure Y’all Look @ These Sheryl Lyrics!:

The Difficult Kind
http://www.letssingit.com/sheryl-crow-the-difficult-kind-ld52t76.html
best line: “I swear I can see you... coming up the drive. & there ain’t nothing like regret, to remind you you’re alive.” *chorus*

All I Wanna Do
http://www.letssingit.com/?http://www.letssingit.com/sheryl-crow-all-i-wanna-do-4jbgfh6.html
best line: “All I wanna do is have a lil fun before I die.”

Everyday is a Winding Road
http://www.letssingit.com/?http://www.letssingit.com/sheryl-crow-everyday-is-a-winding-road-jk53v89.html
best line: “I used to ride with a vending machine repairman. He said he’s been down this road more than twice. He was high on intellectualism. I’ve never been there but the brochure looks nice.”

Strong Enough
http://www.letssingit.com/?http://www.letssingit.com/sheryl-crow-strong-enough-gmvhwtb.html
best line: “I’ll be the last to help you, understand. Are you strong enough to be my man?”

I Shall Believe
http://www.letssingit.com/sheryl-crow-i-shall-believe-qfz4sn1.html
best line: “Even if it’s a lie, say it will be alright, and I shall believe.”

Steve McQueen
http://www.letssingit.com/sheryl-crow-steve-mcqueen-2fcvwxp.html
best line: “I wanna leave you feelin breathless, show you how the West was won- but I gotta fly.”

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7.30.2004

Someone wants me! Someone roaming the streets wants me!... Now will you turn the corner? (July 30/31)

7.21.2004

lyrics!

laurel's adventures