a theory

I was talkin with my dad the other day and in conversation he said "There is an initial awkardness to everything." that's my new theory. Though we were talkin about interacting with hispanic ppl it applies to MaNy things. such as:

-your first step
-your first word
-your first day of school
-your first "sleepover"
-your first boyfriend/girlfriend
-your first kiss
-your first time driving
-your first time living on your own
-your first job

I'm sure you can think of a million other things to add to the list, but unfortunately I don't have time for that. but ya get my gist, eh? so when we think things are bad or screwed up because they're changing or it's a new idea, think about how change is a normal process of life... and when change occurs, there's an initial awkwardness to all new things. no need to point fingers at anyone else, or yourself. no need for drastic meausures. just give yourself time to adjust, and you will. you may be thinking why the hell is she writing about this? well... in the past month or two i've heard of 2 grown men commiting suicide. i'm not goin to get into details... but i have realized that we as humans sometimes have the thought that the way it is now is how it's always goin to be, be it good or bad. but everything changes in time. and for me, personally, lately has been all about change. i'm sure many of you my age feel the same. we're not "little kids" anymore... and tho that may delight some of you it kind of bothers me. i'm just gettin used to it and i need time to accept it. i'm preaching to myself. but maybe you understand, too.